Lack of self respect?

i used to be such a person only because i h8td insulting others. When i did so, i could see their face change and i was incredibly sensitive. i decided that i would stop insulting others even if they insulted me, but i realized that if you do so, people will walk over you, and if you let them, they wont contemplate about it and somehow change their ways and be good to you. The only way to command respect is to defend yourself and ignore all pity for the person when doing so. It is only then that people learn to shut up and take you as a real person and not as a piece of trash. Ive never done any like yelling at those who used to defend me, i allowed them to because i felt like retaliating in the same way, but was scared to hurt this persons feelings. Its better to be a bit more hard, even if it hurts you to do so. feeling too much sympathy is a weakness> (im obviously not referring to war or anything like that, war should be avoided at all costs unless its freeing someone else form opression, but i mean like daily communication with each other, thats when its required to be a little terse and tough. )